A Face of a coin called 'LIFE'

Hmmm...This blog is written with utter anguish and grief.....I am good at it

Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad. This is damn f****** true. I absolutely didnt get a faintest of hint of whatever is happenong to me now. Well, now I DO NOT regret.....or rather I DONT CARE!!.... I was used to such things before, but not of this magnitude......When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions!!!

At this point, I do remember a short stanza by Emily Dickinson:

My life closed twice before its close;
It yet remains to see
If Immortality unveil
A third event to me,
So huge, so hopeless to conceive,
As these that twice befell.
Parting is all we know of heaven,
And all we need of hell.

Well....I still have time to go to heaven (or hell)

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain. Isn't the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven...what do you think???For everything there is a season, And a time for every matter under heaven

A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate,
A time for war, and a time for peace.

Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake. Sorrows cannot all be explained away and shared in a life truly lived, grief and loss accumulate like possessions. They are bloody parasites, looking for a host always.....I get a 'parasite' everytime and I take time to get immune to it. But now, they have come together and I will need more time..

The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn and feel and change and grow and love and live. This sentence is what i look out for, everytime.God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way. The search for the Mechannas Gold is still on....Bear and endure: This sorrow will one day prove to be for good.

At the end, I say that I am waiting for the monsoons....why?? coz I love walking in the rain, 'cause then no-one knows I'm crying....

Love & Happiness.....

To be happy in this world, especially when youth is past, it is necessary to feel oneself not merely an isolated individual whose day will soon be over, but part of the stream of life slowing on from the first germ to the remote and unknown future.

True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing. The great blessings of mankind are within us and within our reach. A wise man is content with his lot, whatever it may be, without wishing for what he has not.

However much we guard ourselves against it, we tend to shape ourselves in the image others have of us. It is not so much the example of others we imitate, as the reflection of ourselves in their eyes and the echo of ourselves in their words.

Fear comes from uncertainty. When we are absolutely certain, whether of our worth or worthlessness, we are almost impervious to fear. Thus a feeling of utter unworthiness can be a source of courage.

Not what you have, but what you see; Not what you see, but what you choose; Not what seems fair, but what is true; Not what you dream, but what you do; Not what you take, but what you give; Not as you pray, but as you live. These are the things that mar or bless The sum of human happiness.

A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave.

Today I begin to understand what love must be, if it exists. When we are parted, we each feel the lack of the other half of ourselves. We are incomplete like a book in two volumes of which the first has been lost. That is what I imagine love to be: incompleteness in absence.

Friends......

There is a harsh truth to face. No way i am gonna make it on the outside. No way i am going to live up to their expectations. All i do is to think a ways to break my parol so that i can go back. Its teribble thing to live in fear......... The guy upstairs knows it all, all too well....... All i want is to be back where things make sense so that I wont have to be afraid all the time. Only one thing stops me........ The promise I made.

Sometimes it makes me sad though. I had to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. and when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was was a sin to lock them up, does rejoice. But still, the place you live is much more than u could grab from others........ I guess I just missed my friends.


Get busy living or get busy dying. Thats God Damn right. For the second time in my life I am guilty of committing a crime. A role violation. Go aside and they they will toss up roses for that, but not for a crook like me. I find that i am so excited that I can barely sit straight with whole of new thoughts inside my head. I think its the excitement only a free man can feel, A freeman with a start of a new long journey, whose conclusion is uncertain. Dont know what future has in store for me. I've worked the hard way and I will......

I hope i can jump across the barriers....

I hope to see my friends and shake hands....

I hope their love is as sweet as it was in my dreams....

I HOPE....

Departure

I had Always heard that our life flashes in front of our eyes for a second before you 'leave'. That one second isn't one second at all. It stretches on for ever, like an ocean of time. For me, it was like lying on my back watching fling stars, watching rain drops trickling down the umbrella, like a rose petal waiting to wither.....sooner or later.

I guess, I should be angry with whatever happened to me in these years in college. But its hard to stay mad for a long time when there is so much love in this world. Sometimes I feel that I am seeing it all at once and its too much. My heart fills up like a balloon thats about to burst. And then, I remember to relax and stop trying to hold on to it and then it flows through me like rain and then I cant feel anything but gratitude for every single person who passed through my life like a breeze, every little moment of life that I have left behind these four years. This was my college. These were my people. This was my life.

You have no idea as to what I am talking about. I am sure. But dont worry,

SOME DAY YOU WILL!!!